My Journey to Joy

Many years ago, as a mother of 2 young daughters, I came across a book entitled, "A Joyful Mother of Children," by Linda Eyre.  As I stood in the BYU Bookstore staring at that book, I was overwhelmed with emotion.  Just the title made me want to laugh, then cry, then pick up the book and throw it across the store, all at the same time.  It seemed somewhat like a cruel joke.  At that point in my life, the word 'joy' didn't even exist in my vocabulary.  And it certainly didn't come close to describing the emotions that I was experiencing every day as a mother of 2 young children.  Depressed, maybe.  Overwhelmed, definitely.  But joy, NEVER!

Just to clarify, I never read the book...never even cracked open the cover.  I don't have any idea what it is about.  But that little phrase got me thinking.  A joyful mother of children.  I thought about it a lot.  A joyful mother of children.  I started watching women around me who were in similar situations. Were they joyful?  Was it actually possible to be 'a joyful mother of children?'  Up to that point in my life, I had experienced very little joy but as I watched and contemplated others, I began to think maybe something was wrong with me.  Maybe I was missing something.

Since that day more than 20 years ago, I have been on a quest to find joy.  It has been a slow and difficult journey, but rewarding in more ways than I can count.  There have been countless people to help me along the way...some who pushed or pulled me down the path, others who called encouragement from further ahead and, maybe most importantly, those who just held my hand and walked beside me.  Without them, I would have quit climbing long ago.

This blog is about my journey.  Not so much about the journey of my past, although I may share those experiences occasionally, but more about the journey I continue each day.  I warn you...I am not one to sugar coat my experiences.  They are real and shape who I am.  Some may be funny.  Others will be ugly.  But most will be beautiful expressions of gratitude for the joy I am finding as "A Joyful Mother of Children."  It seems that now is my time for rejoicing!  Maybe I'll even read that book...